High Honors

Hello friends,

Well, here in NJ, the clock is really ticking and the pile of work I have to complete before going to England is growing, and yet, here I am playing, yet again, with this fascinating picture mechanisim.

On that note, I would like to invite you all (you too Roy) to sit back, crack open a nice, warm can of D.Coke, throw on your favorite pair of ice cream stained sweat pants, and, Care, to put on your glasses, and join me for the first ever "Chitty Photo Awards".



The first award this evening goes to a woman of high honor, who has a love of volleyball, racial slurs, and logo-tees. Please, a round of applause for this years best "Shamrock Pajama Pant Shot":





I'm certain Kevin and Roe would be pleased with that smile.



Next. As we all know, college is a strange oasis of beer infused sexual experimentaion. That said, who could ever forget the old, "Seducing Brielle into O-Face move" as apparently mastered by her favorite big-handed wonder. I present to you the best "I have a firm ass...go on, feel it" shot:








They dress alike, they talk alike, sometimes they even drink alike...It's the "Getting Down to Business Award":








There is something about Mesh caps and DEP hair gel that makes me want to wag my tongue and thrust my hand into "college" form. And for that reason alone, I am thrilled to present the "COLLEGE PIC" award to these two wonderful ladies:






Congrats, truly.



It is the end of your college career. Emotions are running high. Alcohol content is running even higher. You long for memories that have just hardly passed. You need to relive those memories. So you break into your freshman dorm, bang on the door of Chitty 411, steal cupcakes and apparently a Sam's Club sized jug of animal crackers. I offer you the, "Breaking into Chitty and calling the girl that lives in your old dorm a "nerd" for studying on a Friday night during exam week" shot:






Some things in life are so expected, that they hardly need documentation. Everything about this shot screams with the expected, from the youth commission tee, to the waving hands, the unsure look, the cluttered room in the backdrop. And for those reasons, I give you the "Most Typical"shot of the year:








It's been there for the good, the bad, the ugly. Stressed about exams? Aching for a lost lover? Waiting for someone to call you about getting a "bag?" May we all rise, please, to salute, our friends, Mr. and Mrs. D. Coke, who are accompanied this evening by their guests, Mr. and Mrs. unflattering head accessories. Let's give them a hand everyone.







Life is hard at times. Even when wearing the most righteous of gear. The winner for the best "Sad Viking" shot goes to the one, the only, the original Sad Viking:






It appears that for our final category tonight, there is a tie. Apparently our judges were not able to decide between these two, stunning shots. I feel privlaged tonight to unveil to you the winners of this years "Beautiful Ladies":











Thanks so much for joining us tonight. Please, do not forget to grab your complimentary gift bags on the way out, filled with a fine selection of 180 count pink blankets, Boxes of delicious Annie's Mac and Cheese (peas optional), compilation CD's featuring the likes of J. Timberlake, 50 Cent, and Nelly, as well as a finely embroidered City Market sweatshirt.

And, please, drive safely. We don't need to pull another Nicole Ritchie.